Change is around us everyday, but we don't notice it until its the change that hurts or affects us. It may be in a friend, or a family member, or yourself, or even your everyday life. It may be big, it may be small, but its the kind that hurts the most. I found that sometimes if you don't look back, you think you wont remember, but when you finally have enough courage to turn around and look at the past, it all comes back, and its like being hit in the face with a huge brick. It hurts, a lot. And no matter how hard you try to let go, there will always be that little piece with you in your heart.
Like loosing a friend for example. Thats a change that most people have experienced, and its a change that hurts alot. Because you can chose to hate or love them, and either way, you still wont find your answer. The hate process sometimes is used as an excuse to heal, and vent, when really all your doing is missing the person, and wishing they were still around. And then to love them is just as hard, when they dont love you back, because you give everything in your heart, yet its still not quite enough for them. So either way, you loose.
Ive learned, you just have to try your best to forget. And if there comes a time to forgive, just forgive, the worst that will happen is they will do they same thing, but if they do, your stronger the second time around, and your strong enough to say no when they come running back again.
What goes around will always come back around. People will get punishments they deserve and learn lessons they need to learn.
We are all only human and all make mistakes, and mistakes are fine. But after a mistake you need to learn and grow. And after that if you do it again, then it is no longer a mistake. it is a careless effort to be better, and learn.
Another kind of change can be something such as a move. Which once you experience, nothing is ever the same. For so long, i didnted have the courage to look at this place I grew up, and the place I called home. I was scared it would bring back to many good memories, and I was right. but when I looked at this, it actually made me want to have a place I loved calling home. It made me want to accept the fact that im no longer a 702 and that I do live in mesa az. It made me want to build great memories to look back on that I loved, it made me want to find those few great friends that I know will be there in the long run, But most of all it made me want to be able to say, "Mesa is my home"
I am learning everyday, that you wont always find great people, and that there are always going to be the people that dont care no matter how hard you try, or how much you try to help. And you cant and never will change those kind of people.
"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk disappointment. But risks must be taken because the greatest risk in life is to risk in nothing. The person who risks nothing is nothing."-author unknown
I am going to take risk with change, and try and always find the best in each and every change that happens in my life. Always stay true to yourself.
With all my love,
Alyssa
Today was such a good day. Feeling like you can do anything makes things worth all the pain. Accomplishing something that someone told you that you would never accomplish is worth all the tears. Taking time to find your true friends, is worth all the time you were ever lonely, and finding your true identy is worth not knowing who you really are in life.
